Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter and all associated characters, places, spells etc. belong to J. K. Rowling. I am just borrowing them for a use I'm rather sure she wouldn't approve of. No money is being made.
Genre: Angst, Smut.
Warnings: Anything resembling a plot is a cheap excuse to get to the rough boy sex.
Summary: Remus and Severus have some issues in the wake of the final battle.
Author's Note: A late entry into the hp_for_grownups "The Day After Voldemort Died" challenge and a thank-you fic for xochiquetzl. Thanks to a certain Snape Slasher for the quick beta.
Remus looked over his shoulder at Severus.
"Must we do this?" he said as he sat the photo of Lily and the Marauders back on the mantle.
"Didn't Black tell you? I enjoy doing this."
"Severus, I just lost the last of my friends-"
Severus made a noise close to a snarl. "Some friend."
"He was, in the end."
"And that's the only thing that counts I suppose?"
"You know that's not true."
"He killed Potter and Evans. Without him the Dark Lord would never have come back and your precious Black would still be alive. Yet here you are, weeping over him."
"You should know better than anyone that we can't always control how we feel."
"Don't make this about me."
"But it is about you, Severus," Lupin said as he walked towards Severus. "You and your fear."
"Really?" Severus said with a sneer.
"Your fear that they're all done with you. Your fear that you won't have a job now that McGonagall doesn't need you anymore. Your fear that no matter how many people vouch for you, that," he said, pointing and the burn the Dark Mark had left on his arm when Voldemort died, "will land you in Azkaban."
"How observant of you to state the obvious."
"I wasn't done."
"Are you ever?"
"Your fear that I loved them more than you."
Had the circumstances been different, he might have laughed. It was the first time, in the twenty-seven years they'd known each other, he'd rendered Severus speechless.
"Did you?" he asked finally.
"Does it matter?"
"I honestly don't know."
"How can you not know?"
"What I felt for him was complicated."
"He was my best friend, my first love, and I spent twelve years thinking he'd killed two of my dearest friends. When I found out he was innocent, it was so easy to fall back into what we had. I never thought about it. I just had Sirius back. Then he was gone again."
"And what about me?"
"So I'm easy."
Remus laughed. "No. Never. But you are easier than Sirius." He reached up and touched Severus' cheek. "You've hurt me."
"Shhh... You've hurt me, but never once since we've been together. You're difficult, sometimes you're impossible, but you're always honest, and I think you'd die before you hurt me." Remus ran the pad of his thumb over a sallow cheek. "He hurt me. It wasn't his fault, not really. He never meant to go to Azkaban and he certainly never meant to get himself killed, but sometimes I can't help but hate him for it. Hate him for how my life might have turned out if he hadn't been so foolish so many times."
He slipped his arms around Severus and pulled him into a tight embrace.
"I don't know how it would have worked out if he'd lived. I just know how it is. You're here and I'm here and it's all over." He kissed Severus lightly on the lips. "We're together and there's no one else in the house and I love you."
Suddenly Severus was kissing him. It wasn't soft. It wasn't gentle. It was rough and hungry and desperate and Severus was tugging at his robes and grinding against him.
He broke the kiss long enough to mutter, "Here," before Severus tongue was in his mouth. He reached up and opened the top to buttons of his robes then pushed Severus away. Severus was dangerously close to ripping his robes, and as threadbare and tatty as they were, they were the best he had. He pulled them off over his head, working quickly. Severus was an impatient man in anything except the brewing of potions, but in the bedroom, or drawing room in this case, most of all.
When he'd finished laying the robes over a chair he turned to find Severus staring at him. He blushed and his hands moved to cover his scars, not that he could actually manage it. He only had two hands after all and a quarter century of biting and scratching himself before the Wolfsbane potion had left him covered.
Severus, as always, would have none off it. He caught Remus' hands and pulled them away, looking him up and down. Sometimes Remus thought Severus actually liked the scars.
Severus, still holding Remus' hands, leaned forward and ran the tip of his tongue over a particularly thick scar that ran from the tip of his left shoulder down to just under his right nipple. It had been left by one of James' antlers on a night they'd come across a student sneaking around the edge of the forest. It was one of the ones he hated most, because it reminded him of how terribly he'd betrayed Dumbledore's trust. At that moment however, it seemed like it was wired right into his cock. As Severus' tongue ran along it, he grew hard. By the time Severus' tongue moved up to tease his nipple he was aching.
Severus shoved him back against a desk and dropped to his knees. Before Remus could say a word, he was in Severus' mouth and Severus was alternately stroking him with his tongue and sucking him hard. Remus, suddenly grateful he hadn't had a chance to replace his last pair of pants after they'd fallen to shreds, grabbed on to the edge of the table, trying desperately to keep his balance. It wasn't easy. It got even harder when Severus reached up and cupped his balls.
"Inside me," he muttered. "Want you inside me."
Normally, they argued about it. Both of them preferred to top, and frequently their nights ended in blowjobs and handjobs but Remus wanted to feel Severus inside him and wanted to be held and fucked.
He groaned when Severus' mouth left him.
Severus stood up and started digging in his pocket. He pulled out a condom with a look of triumph on his face. Remus turned around and spread his legs.
"What?" Remus said.
"Turn around. I want you to see who's fucking you."
Remus shuddered and turned around. Severus reached around him and swept the table clean with his arm. Then he stood up and stripped off his robes.
No one would ever call Severus Snape beautiful. He was too thin and his ribs stood out and too much time over a cauldron had stained his fingers and rendered his hair a greasy mess. Nor was Severus without scars of his own. A cutting curse here, a bone breaking hex there. It added up. Remus, though, found him wholly desirable, and as he watched bit after bit of Severus' now familiar body revealed, his arousal grew painful.
Remus was used to pain. It was his constant companion. It reminded him he was still alive.
When he was finally naked, Severus tore open the condom and rolled it on. It glowed blue for a minute and seemed to disappear, leaving behind only the sheen of thick and plentiful lubrication and the ring at the base.
Severus shoved Remus back on the table. Remus lifted his legs.
Severus nodded and pressed himself against Remus' arse. Then, with one quick shove, he was inside. Remus reached up and pulled Severus down on top of him and sighed as Severus' arms wrapped around him.
"Hard," he whispered.
Severus didn't need anymore prompting. He started shoving into Remus and Remus' cock ground so deliciously against Severus' stomach.
"Harder," Remus muttered with each thrust. Severus kept it up, fucking him roughly. Remus held on as if his life depended on it.
He heard Severus grunting with exertion above him. It was a deliciously masculine sound. His nostrils filled with the smell of the cedar wardrobe where Severus kept his clothes and the vague overcooked cabbage smell of the dungeons. He felt rough, calloused hands stroke his back. He lost the ability to piece the sensations together. Soon all he could feel was a blinding pressure.
Then he came.
It was heaven. For one moment, Severus was inside him and around him and there was no pain, no pain at all and he was coming and coming and Severus was coming too and nothing else mattered and then it was over.
He lay panting on the table. Severus was on top of him. The aches were creeping back into his body. The world outside was a horrid place and he knew, from long experience, they would have this fight again.
But that was later.
Right then, he chose to ignore everything but the love.